"'Those who are supposed to rule over the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them,' Jesus said to his disciples, 'but it shall not be so among you!' Rather than being lords, he went on to say, disciples are to be servants of one another and the greatest is the one who is servant to all."
Mark 10:42-43
For most of my life, I have had a very trusting view when it came to my pastors or to those in a position of "spiritual authority" in the church. I saw them as being there for my benefit and for my protection. They were there to help teach me, guide me and to counsel me, through the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, if I needed it. I had never felt intimidated, threatened or fearful of that position in a church, until now. When I looked over the handout I had been given the Sunday morning I decided to go back to the church where Kaylee's prayer service had taken place, and realized that I was about to hear a sermon on submission to authority, I felt very uneasy. When I glanced down on this sheet, this was what I first noticed:
2. ________ against God's direct or delegated human authority is a serious sin with serious consequences.
I instantly began to feel weak, and honestly, I wanted to get out of there! It wasn't because I was living a life of rebellion to God. I wasn't. In fact, I was seeking Him and His will for my life like never before. It was because of the way I had been treated by the leadership of this church. I no longer trusted that they had mine or my children's best interest at heart. Although I had loved and agreed with every sermon I had ever heard in this church, I didn't want to hear this particular sermon, at least not from them.
I strongly suspected that what I was being accused of, although it was not the truth, had something to do with "rebellion" to their authority. I had been accused of going around the pastor to get "my way" concerning Kaylee's prayer service. I had been accused of manipulation. I didn't want to sit through this message, knowing many believed this to be true about me.
Yet, at that point, if I was to get up and walk out, with my parade of children behind me, it would look even worse for me. It would look like I was guilty! I had no choice but to sit through it, no matter what they thought about me, and I suspected it was going to be a very long, grueling hour. I began to question my decision to go back to this church.
But as we began to worship, a peace and strength began to come over me. I realized that it was no accident that I was there that morning. God had brought me there for a reason. For more than three years now, I had been in such confusion about what had happened following Kaylee's prayer service. I had been praying and asking God to deliver me! When I think back now, it's honestly amazing what God did for me on this day. The leadership was not being completely upfront or honest with me about the accusations against me, so out of His great love and mercy, He was about to give me these answers. You see, I knew that ultimately it wasn't really about this church, these pastors, or this congregation anyway. It was about what Satan had set up against me in order to shut down our testimony. I now believe that it was this particular teaching within the church, concerning submission to authority, that Satan had used to build his case against me.
Prior to this day, I had never heard a sermon on delegated human authority or spiritual authority in the church quite like this before. To be honest, I wasn't really sure what to make of it. There were a lot of good points throughout the sermon, but there were parts that really confused me as well.
For the purpose of brevity, I am not going to be able to cover every detail of this sermon, although I wish I could. But I am going to cover the parts that really stood out to me. Fortunately, because these sermons are still available to watch online, I have been able to go back and watch it again and will be able to quote much of it directly.
The sermon was delivered by a guest speaker, but I assume his viewpoints represented those of this church on the subject of submission to authority. I would like for you to imagine, if you can, how this sermon made me feel, and the emotions that it stirred up inside of me, on the heels of everything that had leaked back to me about what I was being accused of in this church. It sounded so familiar at times that I almost felt as though I was on trial.
The pastor began by saying that if King David were here today he would tell us this:
"You are exalted by God as you humble yourselves under God's authority."
He started out with the example of David's submission to King Saul's authority while he was the anointed king in waiting.
"No one is the exception to this truth about submission to authority," he began, "Your life has been profoundly affected by this since the day you were born. Your life and your family will be affected by this until the day that you die."
He then went on to explain that just as King David was not an exception to this truth, neither was Jesus.
He told us that Mary, as Jesus' human mother, was co-parenting Jesus with God. He said that Jesus was submitted to Mary's authority until he began his ministry, at thirty years of age, and that at this time, Mary gave Jesus permission to begin his ministry.
He began by talking about the time Jesus was 12 years old (about to turn 13) and he went with his parents to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Passover. After the feast was over, Joseph and Mary headed for home and had been on the road for an entire day, unaware that Jesus was not with them. Jesus had remained behind in the temple courts and was sitting among the teachers. When they went back and found Jesus in the temple, three days later, Mary questioned him as to why he had done this to them.
The pastor described the rest of the story in this way:
"Jesus so innocently said, 'I must be about my Father's business.' And she (Mary) said, 'No you don't! God!' She knew he was God. He knew he was God. She said 'No' to God! And he went home ...for 17 years. He was 'put out.' He believed, that at 13 years old, he was ready to begin his ministry and be about his Father's business, but remember, Mary and God the Father were co-parenting Jesus, and Mary had a role to play as his authority figure. And Jesus was innocent, but Jesus was wrong. And he goes home with Mary for 17 years."
The pastor then went on to explain to us how, when Jesus was 30 years old, at a wedding at Cana in Galilee, Mary gave Jesus permission to begin his ministry. This happened at a point when they ran out of wine at this wedding.
He went to on to describe this moment in this way:
"So she (Mary) turns to him and says, 'They're out of wine.' Again, he was 'put out' with her. He didn't want to do it. And he uses a Hebrew idiom and says, 'Woman, what do I have to do with you?'"
The pastor then explained that Jesus did as Mary asked, turning the water into wine, thus beginning his ministry.
He concluded the story in this way:
"At 13 years old, he wanted to begin his ministry; his mother told him 'No', and he was 'put out' with her. At 30 years old, he was not ready to begin; his mother told him 'Yes' and he started. In both cases, he was 'put out'."
"No one is an exception to this issue," the pastor told us.
He continued on, filling in the blanks of the handout we had been given, as he described to us four truths concerning the issue of submission to authority.
1. God is the originator of submission and Satan is the originator of rebellion.
"All authority is from God. Rebellion is from the devil."
He referenced the following verses:
"Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Therefore whoever resist the authority resist the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves. For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to evil. Do you want to be unafraid of the authority? Do what is good, and you will have praise from the same. For he is God's minister to you for good. But if you do evil, be afraid; for he does not bear the sword in vain; for he is God's minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil. Therefore you must be subject, not because of wrath but also for conscience sake. For because of this, you also pay taxes, for they are God's ministers attending continually to this very thing. Render therefore to all their due: taxes to whom taxes are due, customs to whom customs, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor." (Romans 13:1-7)
"All authority is from God and God expects us to submit to human authority," he reiterated.
"God operates in an atmosphere of authority but Satan operates in an atmosphere of rebellion to authority."
"It's interesting here," he went on, referring to II Thessalonians 2:7-10, "It says the lawless one, the Antichrist, when he arises, Satan is able to work with all powers, signs and lying wonders because Satan operates in an atmosphere of rebellion."
"The Antichrist spirit is in the world today," he told us, "and you see that in the form of lawlessness and rebellion to authority."
At this point, I couldn't help but wonder if Jackie and others who had been a part of Kaylee's prayer service now believed that it had been an "atmosphere of rebellion." After all, although the pastor had given us permission that day to have it, he had been angry about it afterwards. I couldn't say for certain, but it would stand to reason that this might be why they were treating me the way they were and now speaking negatively about Kaylee's prayer service. It seemed unthinkable, but nothing surprised me anymore concerning all of this. ...Surely they don't believe Kaylee's healing was a sign and wonder of Satan? I thought.
He continued on with his second point.
2. Rebellion against God's direct or delegated human authority is a serious sin with serious consequences."
From here, he began to talk about the account of when God rejected Saul from being king because of his direct disobedience and rebellion to His instructions. (I Samuel 15)
"For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, He has rejected you from being king." (I Samuel 15:23)
The pastor expounded: "Why, in God's eyes, is rebellion, to Him, like the sin of witchcraft?" he asked us.
I braced myself upon hearing the word witchcraft, remembering what Sally kept saying, over and over again, at one of the life-groups: "Manipulation is as witchcraft." At the time, based on everything else that had been said to Erica, she had felt that Sally was trying to make a point to her about me.
"Witchcraft is a different kind of religion," the pastor continued, "Witchcraft is a religion without a deity. The witch is actually the deity. It is a religion in which the person becomes the deity and the whole purpose of witchcraft is to manipulate people and things to get what you want."
All of this was sounding very familiar. It reminded me as well of the things that had been marked up about me in "The Bait of Satan" book. ..Oh dear God, surely they don't really think I am a witch? ...I began to feel sick at my stomach all over again as he continued.
"Lotions, potions, and motions, is what witches use to get their desired result. And so, they're manipulating the earth, they're manipulating people, they're manipulating the spiritual realm to get what they want."
Could it be possible that Sally had been right all along about the accusations against me? Is this what they think about me? I wondered. I knew that it had to be something very serious for Jackie to feel like she could tell people, during a prayer service, not to help Michelaine, in a time of great need, just because she was my friend. It was honestly unreal!
The pastor continued on with what he told us was "his version" of what God was saying here:
"When I see you in rebellion to me, just like a witch, I am seeing someone who has become their own deity, manipulating things and people to get what you want. There's not one difference in the world, when you're in rebellion to me, from you and what a witch is trying to do!"
"Rebellion is just like the sin of witchcraft," he went on, "God says, 'It is you trying to be your own God.' And then he added, "And stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry."
He continued, "Rebellion says, 'I ain't gonna do it.' Stubbornness says, 'I may go, but you're gonna have to explain it to me, and you're going to have to be nice to me, and I'm gonna have to agree. Selective obedience is rebellion and is as iniquity and you're going to pass it from generation to generation," he added.
But wait a minute! I felt confused at this point. Are we talking about direct rebellion to God or questioning a "delegated human authority"? I wondered. Surely he's not saying it is one in the same? I felt that he needed to clarify the difference here because Samuel was clearly talking, in these particular verses, about direct rebellion to God's instructions. There was clearly a difference in the two. ...I mean, I hope I would never question God or tell God that He better "be nice to me" or that I would have to agree with Him before doing something He asked me to do. I wouldn't break the law or go against the government officials either, UNLESS the law required me to go directly against God or His laws. So there is a distinct difference, at this point, that needed to be noted. Take the case of Daniel, for instance, or Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego.
The disciples were also faced with this, as well, having to choose whether to obey those in a position of "delegated human authority" or to obey God:
"Having brought the apostles, they made them appear before the Sanhedrin to be questioned by the high priest. 'We gave you strict orders not to teach in this name,' he said. 'Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teachings and are determined to make us guilty of this man's blood." Peter and the other disciples replied: 'We must obey God rather than men. '" Acts 5:27-29
And what about spiritual leadership in a church? I certainly believed in submission to authority, and would never rebel against my pastor or directly defy his position of leadership in the church. I believed that it was a position that should be honored. But I wasn't going to just blindly follow any pastor or spiritual leader either. I might ask questions. I might need an explanation, clarification or understanding, depending on the circumstances or what I was being asked to do. I would need to agree, and a pastor would need to back it up with scripture if I didn't understand. Was that wrong? Did he not want us to think for ourselves or be Spirit-led? This teaching, carried to the extreme, and without clarification, was how cults got started.
He continued on, "Why would God say that stubbornness is like idolatry? Because idolatry is worshiping a false god. Why does God say that? Well, here's the answer: Because the stubbornness is worship of our own opinion. ...Submission to authority is not even an issue until there's a disagreement. If you agree with authority, well that's great. But what if they tell me something I don't want to do, that I don't understand, that doesn't agree with my opinion? Stubbornness is the worship of my own opinion and I become contentious and I am a stubborn mule."
Admittedly, it was hard for me to listen to any of this objectively when I knew what I was being accused of concerning Kaylee's prayer service. With words such as: rebellion, stubbornness, manipulation, witchcraft, and idolatry being thrown around so loosely, I was becoming very defensive. I felt a need to plead my case! I knew that I could be stubborn at times. I was not a person who was easily persuaded or moved when it came to my convictions, and even my opinion. Sometimes that could be a bad thing, and God was still working with me in this area. Other times, however, this could be a good thing. When the doctors told me that Kaylee would be sick, and on medication for the remainder of her life, I hadn't just accepted that either. I turned to God for help! I knew that God knew more than the human "authorities" on the subject. God had been able to lead me in the direction He needed for me to go because I do not blindly follow. At this time, I'm not even sure my pastor had been supportive of what I was doing, although he would have never tried to tell me what to do. I had been faced with walking this one out alone. Even from my lowly position within the Body of Christ, I have the Holy Spirit living inside of me, and when it came down to it, I felt that this had been the real issue all along.
As Kaylee's mother, I had prayed for her healing for more than 9 years. I had specifically prayed and fasted (every Friday) for 7 months leading up to the day of her prayer service and healing. When God made a promise to me that she was going to be healed on my birthday, and confirmed it to me over and over again, I had chosen to stand firm in my position, not because I worshiped my own "opinion", but because I chose to believe God over man. I was of the "opinion" that God's promise to me trumped the "opinion" of this pastor, who later admitted to me that he had not prayed or asked God what to do concerning Kaylee. Was this pastor not accountable also to his authority?
I had gone to this pastor personally, months before, seeking his guidance and wisdom, because I didn't want to walk this out alone. On the day of our promised healing, I didn't go against this pastor's instructions. I didn't ask anyone to have a prayer service for Kaylee! I did not rebel against his authority in the church! But I did stand up to him when he tried to tell me something contrary to what God had promised me (and had even confirmed to me again through the sermon preached by the main pastor the day before). By standing firm, I was certain that I had blown any opportunity to have that prayer service in this church, but I knew that it didn't matter. I had given that day over to God completely, and His plan for Kaylee's lifewas not going to be thwarted. I didn't have to manipulate anything. I was not so foolish as to believe that I could manipulate God into getting what I wanted! I had to have Him with me!
But God did not require me to go against the pastor that day. Of course He would not have wanted it done that way. For whatever reason, after I left the church that morning, the pastor gave them permission to have that prayer service. Following this day, things had become completely distorted. From what I could gather, based on the things that had leaked back to me, because the pastor was angry afterwards and accused me of going around him, it had now been concluded that I must have manipulated everyone involved. According to this teaching that I was hearing, that would make me no better than a witch. Suddenly the last three years were all beginning to make sense.
But God did not require me to go against the pastor that day. Of course He would not have wanted it done that way. For whatever reason, after I left the church that morning, the pastor gave them permission to have that prayer service. Following this day, things had become completely distorted. From what I could gather, based on the things that had leaked back to me, because the pastor was angry afterwards and accused me of going around him, it had now been concluded that I must have manipulated everyone involved. According to this teaching that I was hearing, that would make me no better than a witch. Suddenly the last three years were all beginning to make sense.
The pastor continued on with his description of a contentious woman or "stubborn mule".
"I may get there, but you're gonna have to fight hard and you're gonna have to convince me, and drag me, and all these things. Stubbornness is as the sin of idolatry!"
"Submission to authority means I am going to do what you say," he continued, "I'll make a righteous appeal, but I'm not gonna wear you out and you're not going to have to be a perfect authority figure for me to submit."
The pastor later went on to say that we all have a tendency to get prideful and arrogant when authority tells us to do something. He said that if authority exist for no other reason, it exist to keep us humble. He went on to reiterate that without the blessing of authority, God won't go with us. "God doesn't work except through submission to authority," he said.
It was at this point that our entire testimony was in question. If God doesn't work except through submission to authority, and the pastor in authority on the day of the prayer service was now saying the service shouldn't have happened, Kaylee shouldn't be healed. God couldn't have been with us. So this was how Satan had managed to distort the truth about Kaylee's prayer service, build his case against me, and ultimately shut down our testimony. The worst part was that God was being robbed of His due glory concerning Kaylee's life, but they couldn't even see this. How was I going to be able to move forward with the calling I felt on my life, share what God had done for Kaylee, and encourage other mothers to persistently fight for their children's recovery from disease as long as this dark cloud remained over our testimony?
The pastor did go on to mention something that I felt was very relevant in this case against me. He told us that there are two "interpretive keys" to the Bible. He told us that the first one is love.
"Without love, the Bible can be a very dangerous book," he told us. "A lot of people have used the Bible to hurt people."
At this point, I couldn't have agreed more! This very teaching, on submission to authority, was one of the most dangerous teachings I had ever heard in my life, without love. In fact, I recently heard a survivor of the Holocaust say that it was this very same teaching, from the Bible, that Adolf Hitler used to be able to murder more than 6 million Jews. Satan can twist and distort scripture for his purposes as well.
I couldn't help but wonder how differently all of this would have turned out if love had been a factor in the end. Sure, everyone was telling me that they loved me, and they probably even believed it. But this "We love you, but we're going to continue to talk about you in secret, we don't believe anything you say, we're not going to meet with you, and we have no desire to reconcile with you or have anything to do with you" version of "love" had become nothing more than a clanging cymbal in my ears.
The pastor went on to say that the second interpretive key to the Bible is authority.
"When you understand submission to authority, it unlocks the Bible and it accelerates your spiritual growth, but when you don't, you can stay immature for a very long time because it's an interpretive key. Submission to authority brings supernatural favor, blessing and protection from God."
Again, this blog would go on and on if I covered every single point, but this was the jest of it. One more thing I want to mention was this statement:
"You'll always have an advantage over your authority (by this I am assuming he meant spiritual gifts, etc). God has given you these advantages to serve your authority, not to usurp them."
He closed with these verses about associating with those in rebellion to authority:
"Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character'" I Corinthians 15:33
I suppose that this was how they could justify having nothing more to do with me or my children. It was the most helpless feeling I had ever felt before in my life. How in the world had Satan managed to pull this off?
After the service, I headed quickly toward the back door. I didn't want to see or talk to anyone. I didn't know what my children were thinking, but as we were walking out, my son, Brady, who was 15 years old at the time, turned to me and said, "I didn't like that at all! I felt like they were talking about you!"
I honestly couldn't believe he said it, but it was just further confirmation for me. Without me saying a word to him about what I had been feeling throughout this sermon, he had picked up on it himself. And he had picked up on a lot more than that: "That reminded me of what they use to teach in the Roman Catholic church," he continued. He had just recently studied this in school. Brady, who was always extremely laid back and easy going, who often made fun of us women for being too dramatic, and who rarely voiced his opinion, was angry! He had watched his sister suffer for years with disease. He had faithfully fasted for her healing, at the young age of 12, and been an active part of her prayer service. He loved this church! In fact, he had been the main reason I had gone back on that day. I had seen so much growth in him since we had started attending this church. He just couldn't understand any of it at all. As much as I hated what they were doing to me, it broke my heart even more to see how they were letting my son down.
"There's just one very important thing that I see is missing in this," he told me later, "Humility."
Now of course we still had no solid proof that this was the case against me, and I couldn't say for certain how deep all of this ran. Although the overwhelming evidence, based on everything I had heard, seemed to point in that direction, I couldn't say for certain how much the pastors were involved. Most of what I had gotten back to me had come from the women. I knew that I needed to be careful before jumping to conclusions. It was always a possibility that Satan might be trying to deceive me as well. This is why on-going communication within the Body of Christ is so critical! Satan was clearly at work in this situation, attempting to deceive us all, and his goal is always to keep us divided against one another. I still needed to hear the accusations against me directly from the mouths of these pastors.
I decided that I would attempt, one last time, to see if the pastors would arrange a meeting with everyone involved in this situation. I wrote them a letter, letting them know that I was aware of the conversation that had taken place between Jackie and Cindy. I told them that I had attempted to meet with Jackie but that she would not meet with me. I explained that I was trying to handle this in a Biblical matter, in accordance to the teaching of Mathew 18:15-22. I pleaded with them one last time for a meeting! I don't want a "band-aid" to be put over this situation, I need for it to be fully resolved and reconciled, I wrote. If I am being accused of any wrongdoing in this church, I am asking that you show me the honor and respect of bringing these accusations to me. I explained to them, again, how this slanderous talk was damaging my reputation, my testimony, my witness, and negatively affecting the lives of my children.
I send one copy to the local pastor and then sent a certified copy of the same letter to the main pastor in Birmingham. Although I felt that God was with me and leading me to write this letter, from the moment I sent them out, I knew that I would never get a response. I also knew that it was going to be okay. I had done what I needed to do, and it was now in God's hands. I never heard anything back from these pastors.
What God did for me next still gives me chills today when I think back on it. The children and I had been attending Cornerstone Church, a Methodist church across town. After hearing the sermon on delegated human authority, it took me a few weeks to recover and to want to attend a church service again. For the next few weeks, I attended church only as a volunteer back in the children's department at Cornerstone. Amazingly, the very next time I got up the strength again to attend the church service with my children, the lead pastor of Cornerstone preached a sermon that touched on nearly every point of confusion I had from the previous sermon on church authority. He preached on the power of the tongue and the great responsibility that comes with being in a position of leadership and authority in the church. He told us that, as our pastor, he is accountable to God and called to serve us with humility. As he stood up there talking that Sunday morning, suddenly everything "flipped". I realize that this is a bold statement I am about to make, but in that moment, this was exactly what it felt like. It was as though God was standing up there on that stage, as the pastor began to read to us out of the book of James, chapter 3. I felt as though God's loving arms were wrapped tightly around me, and in this sermon, it sounded as though my accusers were now on trial...
Additional Quotes on church authority:
"The authority by which the Christian leader leads is not power but love, not force but example, not coercion but reasoned persuasion. Leaders have power, but power is safe only in the hands of those who humble themselves to serve." - John Stott
"According to the Bible, a leader is first and foremost a servant. His concern is not for himself; his concern is not to give orders, to boss other people around, to have his own way. His concern is to meet the needs of others." - Wayne Mack
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