"But in fact God has arranged the parts of the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them.
"....The eye cannot say to the hand, 'I don't need you!' And the head cannot say to the feet, 'I don't need you!' On the contrary, those parts that seem weaker are indispensable, and the parts we think are less honorable we treat with special honor..."
I Corinthians 12:18, 21-23
I was completely at a loss as to what I needed to do for Kaylee now that we could not afford to fully implement the diet and also because she was expecting a miraculous healing from God. I continued to hold on tight to the one thing that I was confident in: the character of God. I didn't understand many of the things that were happening in our lives, but I had to believe that God had not brought us this far just to drop us.
Another thing we were relying on heavily was the continual prayers coming from our church (AUMC). Kaylee was still on their prayer list and we still had our pager that would go off frequently and remind us that people were praying for her. I can look back now and see that, during this time, when my faith was so shaken, these prayer warriors were "filling in the gap" for me and moving things along. I am confident that every one of these prayers played a significant roll in what God was putting together behind the scenes!
I had begun working part time at Lee County Youth Development Center (LCYDC), an agency that was originally started by two very caring women in our community as a residential placement and care facility for abused and neglected children. This agency had expanded through the (35+) years and had become one of the leading facilities in the state for meeting the needs of "at risk" teenagers and families. I had no idea how working with these severely afflicted and abused children/teenagers was going to change my life nor would I have ever, in my wildest dreams, imagined that God was going to use these very ones (the least of these) to begin to bring about the miraculous healing we had been praying for.
I was assisting in a classroom with a precious woman, Mrs. Jackson, who I grew to dearly love throughout this time as well. Our job was to help these children continue with their education while in treatment and residential care, but the two of us did much more than just that. We were educators, counselors, referees, and often times temporary parents to these severely afflicted teenagers. Although there were certainly some who were easier to love than others, we both knew that God had given us a very brief amount of time or "window of opportunity" to make a difference in these lives, and we both took this very seriously. I was in awe of the way Mrs. Jackson connected with these children from the start and throughout this time I learned so much from her!
The dynamics of our classroom were always unpredictable, as these children would come and go, and we had many bad days along with the good. There were times when fights would break out, mouths would go OFF, and even times some would escape from us and run away! Yet, despite all the chaos, I felt that Mrs. Jackson and I shared something very unique between the two of us.
Although we came from different backgrounds and differed in many of our political views, we shared a mutual respect for one another's differences, and we bonded on what was most important to us: our love for God and our love for these children. Mrs. Jackson and I were most definitely kindred spirits. It was our differences, in fact, that seemed to work so perfectly for what God had set up in that classroom.
One of the things that stands out to me most about this time was the strong presence of God that I would feel from the moment I walked through that door each day. It was truly amazing! In fact, often times when I had prayed about something and was waiting on an answer from God, I wouldn't receive that answer until I sat down at my desk the next morning. I believe that this was because, before the children and I arrived, Mrs. Jackson would start each day off with prayer, asking for God's presence to be there with us in that classroom. As a result, I believe that the presence of God, surrounding these abused, oppressed, wounded, disregarded, tossed aside, rejected, forgotten (orphans), was so real and powerful that I was even able to benefit from this power just by being in their presence. I know that may sound "far fetched" to some, but it became so evident to me! I instantly began to feel God's love for each one of these children who were held captive by "the chains of injustice."
It was hard sometimes to see much hope for some of these children. Although they were not responsible for the abuse and neglect they had been subjected to at a young, vulnerable age, many of them had turned to drugs and alcohol, promiscuous sex, and even criminal activity, and were now headed down very destructive paths. For some of them, I knew it was only a matter of time (possibly one more birthday) before they would go from being viewed by our society as poor "victims" (who have many avenues of help) to despised "offenders" (who are basically left on their own). In fact, one young teenage girl, who had been severely victimized and sexually molested as a young child, had been removed from her home (a home where many foster children had been taken in) because she had begun to repeat what had been done to her and was molesting other small children in that home. Abuse is a vicious, destructive cycle!
(For the purpose of confidentiality, I will not be using any real names in my stories about these children)
The children were in and out of the classroom, sometimes in less than a week, but other times were with us up to a year. Naturally we grew closer to the ones who were with us longer, but occasionally there would be that one who would capture our hearts from the minute they walked through the door. For me, one of these was a girl whom I will refer to as Rachel. Rachel was a beautiful girl with long, straight brown hair and freckles all over her face. She reminded me of Laura Ingalls Wilder from the television series Little House on the Prairie. At first glance, she appeared to be a wholesome, innocent, "All-American" 13-year-old girl. Yet, the truth was, she had already been subjected to more evil and darkness in her short life than most will ever encounter in a lifetime. If anyone had been set up for failure from the start, it was her. From my understanding, her father was currently serving time in prison, not only for sexually abusing her, but for prostituting her out for drugs as well.
Rachel and I connected from the start and she soon began to call me "Mama." Every day she would come into the classroom and come straight to my desk for our "mother/daughter talks". From these talks, you would never suspect the years of abuse she kept hidden deep within. It was evident that she only desperately wanted to be a "normal" thirteen- year-old girl and to talk about the things a typical teenage girl would talk about with her mother. We would talk about hair, fashion, boys, etc... She also wanted to know everything about my family. I believe that she wanted to know what a "normal" family was like, and I also believe that she would sometimes imagine that we were her family. She would even ask me how her "brothers and sisters" (my children) we doing.
One of the things that Mrs. Jackson and I always strived to do with each one of these children was to make them feel valued. We would try to key in on an area of strength in them, and even put this strength to use if we could, rather than to focus on their weaknesses or on the reasons they were there. Some of these children had the most unique and incredible gifts, and we wanted to make sure they knew this. Some of them were remarkable peacemakers, which was highly valued in our classroom; others were gifted comedians, which always helped to lighten the mood; then there were those who were more quiet yet contained a deep, exceptional insight and wisdom; and of course we also had those who were highly skilled and talented academically. Each and every one of "our children" had something special to offer this world!
As for Rachel, her unique gift was her outgoing personality and her deep passion for life and others. She was truly interested in and compassionate about what was going on in the lives of everyone around her. One day I asked her if she would do something for me, hoping that she would see how much I truly valued her in my life. I had no idea that this would turn out to be a pivotal, life-changing moment in my life. .....I asked Rachel if she would pray for Kaylee.
I cannot tell you how excited Rachel was to take on this "assignment" and she took it very seriously! Every day when I walked in the classroom, the first thing she would ask me was, "How is your daughter doing?" It was evident that Rachel, who still contained that beautiful, innocent, child-like faith, truly believed in her prayers and that she expected to see results.
One day, around the middle of September, I walked into the classroom and Rachel immediately met me at my desk to share something with me.
"Mama, I have to tell you something!" she said. "I had a dream last night, and I need to tell you about it. I dreamed that I was at a birthday party and your daughter walked up to you and said, 'Mama, I'm healed.' And I remember the date," she went on, "It was August the 18th." She then asked me, "Is that your daughter's birthday?"
I sat there for a minute stunned and wondering if there was any way she could have possibly known.
"No." I replied, "That's not my daughter's birthday. That's my birthday!"
Rachel's eyes suddenly got huge, "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh," she kept saying, "Are you serious?" She then sat down in the chair next to my desk and we both felt as though, for a brief moment, we had slipped away into the "Twilight Zone." It was as if we were the only two people in that classroom, and Rachel just continued to sit there in amazement, with her hands on her head exclaiming, "Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh!" Then all at once she regained her composure and said, in a very matter of fact and confident matter, "Well then, we know what that means. Your daughter is going to be healed on your birthday."
In that moment, I totally believed it and I could feel God's presence in such a powerful way. Yet, it wasn't long before I started to doubt. If it had been my pastor or someone prominent in our church who had told me about a dream they had, it would have been much easier to believe. Naturally, the fact that this was told to me by a child, AND by a child who was in a facility for "at risk" teenagers, made it even harder to receive. Although I told Mrs. Jackson about the dream and went home and called many of my friends, by that night Satan was really planting the doubt in my mind. I began to wonder: What if Rachel had somehow found out when my birthday was and made the whole thing up to make me happy, to bring attention to herself or just to create a great story? Many children like to do that kind of thing, especially concerning dreams. .....If this was the case, I had to admit that she was a terrific actress!
The next day, I came in and decided I would test things out a bit. I asked her, "So when is my birthday again?" She thought for just a minute, and then replied confidently, "August 19th!" (the wrong date) For some reason, it made me feel much better that she had already forgotten the date. It was possible that she had only remembered it long enough to pass it on to me (the way my friend, Erica had often done.)
After this, I didn't think much about the dream again. I didn't put it out of my mind completely, I simply filed it away in my memory and waited to see what might come of it one day. Of course I wanted desperately to believe that there was a possibility that, perhaps one day, on one of my birthdays, we might finally receive Kaylee's healing.
Little did I know, it would be my very next birthday that we would receive our long anticipated miracle. It would turn out that sweet Rachel was indeed being used in a mighty way by God. It makes me sad that I was never able to tell her this. She was gone before any of this took place.
I was about to experience the most incredible year of my life, and God was about to teach me some invaluable lessons, not only concerning Kaylee's disease, but concerning "the body of Christ" as well. You see, we tend to always look to the same people - the ones who we esteem and value most - while overlooking the very ones God wants to use in our lives. God delights in using those whom we least expect, and we often times miss it altogether. We need each and every member of "the body of Christ" to be healthy and restored, and God restores the wounded, and gives them great honor, by using them in our lives.
"...But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that
I was assisting in a classroom with a precious woman, Mrs. Jackson, who I grew to dearly love throughout this time as well. Our job was to help these children continue with their education while in treatment and residential care, but the two of us did much more than just that. We were educators, counselors, referees, and often times temporary parents to these severely afflicted teenagers. Although there were certainly some who were easier to love than others, we both knew that God had given us a very brief amount of time or "window of opportunity" to make a difference in these lives, and we both took this very seriously. I was in awe of the way Mrs. Jackson connected with these children from the start and throughout this time I learned so much from her!
The dynamics of our classroom were always unpredictable, as these children would come and go, and we had many bad days along with the good. There were times when fights would break out, mouths would go OFF, and even times some would escape from us and run away! Yet, despite all the chaos, I felt that Mrs. Jackson and I shared something very unique between the two of us.
Although we came from different backgrounds and differed in many of our political views, we shared a mutual respect for one another's differences, and we bonded on what was most important to us: our love for God and our love for these children. Mrs. Jackson and I were most definitely kindred spirits. It was our differences, in fact, that seemed to work so perfectly for what God had set up in that classroom.
One of the things that stands out to me most about this time was the strong presence of God that I would feel from the moment I walked through that door each day. It was truly amazing! In fact, often times when I had prayed about something and was waiting on an answer from God, I wouldn't receive that answer until I sat down at my desk the next morning. I believe that this was because, before the children and I arrived, Mrs. Jackson would start each day off with prayer, asking for God's presence to be there with us in that classroom. As a result, I believe that the presence of God, surrounding these abused, oppressed, wounded, disregarded, tossed aside, rejected, forgotten (orphans), was so real and powerful that I was even able to benefit from this power just by being in their presence. I know that may sound "far fetched" to some, but it became so evident to me! I instantly began to feel God's love for each one of these children who were held captive by "the chains of injustice."
It was hard sometimes to see much hope for some of these children. Although they were not responsible for the abuse and neglect they had been subjected to at a young, vulnerable age, many of them had turned to drugs and alcohol, promiscuous sex, and even criminal activity, and were now headed down very destructive paths. For some of them, I knew it was only a matter of time (possibly one more birthday) before they would go from being viewed by our society as poor "victims" (who have many avenues of help) to despised "offenders" (who are basically left on their own). In fact, one young teenage girl, who had been severely victimized and sexually molested as a young child, had been removed from her home (a home where many foster children had been taken in) because she had begun to repeat what had been done to her and was molesting other small children in that home. Abuse is a vicious, destructive cycle!
(For the purpose of confidentiality, I will not be using any real names in my stories about these children)
The children were in and out of the classroom, sometimes in less than a week, but other times were with us up to a year. Naturally we grew closer to the ones who were with us longer, but occasionally there would be that one who would capture our hearts from the minute they walked through the door. For me, one of these was a girl whom I will refer to as Rachel. Rachel was a beautiful girl with long, straight brown hair and freckles all over her face. She reminded me of Laura Ingalls Wilder from the television series Little House on the Prairie. At first glance, she appeared to be a wholesome, innocent, "All-American" 13-year-old girl. Yet, the truth was, she had already been subjected to more evil and darkness in her short life than most will ever encounter in a lifetime. If anyone had been set up for failure from the start, it was her. From my understanding, her father was currently serving time in prison, not only for sexually abusing her, but for prostituting her out for drugs as well.
Rachel and I connected from the start and she soon began to call me "Mama." Every day she would come into the classroom and come straight to my desk for our "mother/daughter talks". From these talks, you would never suspect the years of abuse she kept hidden deep within. It was evident that she only desperately wanted to be a "normal" thirteen- year-old girl and to talk about the things a typical teenage girl would talk about with her mother. We would talk about hair, fashion, boys, etc... She also wanted to know everything about my family. I believe that she wanted to know what a "normal" family was like, and I also believe that she would sometimes imagine that we were her family. She would even ask me how her "brothers and sisters" (my children) we doing.
One of the things that Mrs. Jackson and I always strived to do with each one of these children was to make them feel valued. We would try to key in on an area of strength in them, and even put this strength to use if we could, rather than to focus on their weaknesses or on the reasons they were there. Some of these children had the most unique and incredible gifts, and we wanted to make sure they knew this. Some of them were remarkable peacemakers, which was highly valued in our classroom; others were gifted comedians, which always helped to lighten the mood; then there were those who were more quiet yet contained a deep, exceptional insight and wisdom; and of course we also had those who were highly skilled and talented academically. Each and every one of "our children" had something special to offer this world!
As for Rachel, her unique gift was her outgoing personality and her deep passion for life and others. She was truly interested in and compassionate about what was going on in the lives of everyone around her. One day I asked her if she would do something for me, hoping that she would see how much I truly valued her in my life. I had no idea that this would turn out to be a pivotal, life-changing moment in my life. .....I asked Rachel if she would pray for Kaylee.
I cannot tell you how excited Rachel was to take on this "assignment" and she took it very seriously! Every day when I walked in the classroom, the first thing she would ask me was, "How is your daughter doing?" It was evident that Rachel, who still contained that beautiful, innocent, child-like faith, truly believed in her prayers and that she expected to see results.
One day, around the middle of September, I walked into the classroom and Rachel immediately met me at my desk to share something with me.
"Mama, I have to tell you something!" she said. "I had a dream last night, and I need to tell you about it. I dreamed that I was at a birthday party and your daughter walked up to you and said, 'Mama, I'm healed.' And I remember the date," she went on, "It was August the 18th." She then asked me, "Is that your daughter's birthday?"
I sat there for a minute stunned and wondering if there was any way she could have possibly known.
"No." I replied, "That's not my daughter's birthday. That's my birthday!"
Rachel's eyes suddenly got huge, "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh," she kept saying, "Are you serious?" She then sat down in the chair next to my desk and we both felt as though, for a brief moment, we had slipped away into the "Twilight Zone." It was as if we were the only two people in that classroom, and Rachel just continued to sit there in amazement, with her hands on her head exclaiming, "Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh!" Then all at once she regained her composure and said, in a very matter of fact and confident matter, "Well then, we know what that means. Your daughter is going to be healed on your birthday."
In that moment, I totally believed it and I could feel God's presence in such a powerful way. Yet, it wasn't long before I started to doubt. If it had been my pastor or someone prominent in our church who had told me about a dream they had, it would have been much easier to believe. Naturally, the fact that this was told to me by a child, AND by a child who was in a facility for "at risk" teenagers, made it even harder to receive. Although I told Mrs. Jackson about the dream and went home and called many of my friends, by that night Satan was really planting the doubt in my mind. I began to wonder: What if Rachel had somehow found out when my birthday was and made the whole thing up to make me happy, to bring attention to herself or just to create a great story? Many children like to do that kind of thing, especially concerning dreams. .....If this was the case, I had to admit that she was a terrific actress!
The next day, I came in and decided I would test things out a bit. I asked her, "So when is my birthday again?" She thought for just a minute, and then replied confidently, "August 19th!" (the wrong date) For some reason, it made me feel much better that she had already forgotten the date. It was possible that she had only remembered it long enough to pass it on to me (the way my friend, Erica had often done.)
After this, I didn't think much about the dream again. I didn't put it out of my mind completely, I simply filed it away in my memory and waited to see what might come of it one day. Of course I wanted desperately to believe that there was a possibility that, perhaps one day, on one of my birthdays, we might finally receive Kaylee's healing.
Little did I know, it would be my very next birthday that we would receive our long anticipated miracle. It would turn out that sweet Rachel was indeed being used in a mighty way by God. It makes me sad that I was never able to tell her this. She was gone before any of this took place.
I was about to experience the most incredible year of my life, and God was about to teach me some invaluable lessons, not only concerning Kaylee's disease, but concerning "the body of Christ" as well. You see, we tend to always look to the same people - the ones who we esteem and value most - while overlooking the very ones God wants to use in our lives. God delights in using those whom we least expect, and we often times miss it altogether. We need each and every member of "the body of Christ" to be healthy and restored, and God restores the wounded, and gives them great honor, by using them in our lives.
"...But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that
lacked it, so that there would be no division in the body, but that it's parts should have equal concern for one another. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it...."
I Corinthians 12:24&25
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