"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship."
Romans 12:1
Following my experiences on January 18th, I felt a renewed level of faith. For several days it was extraordinary, but this high level of faith did not last as long as I would have liked. I wish that it could have stayed that way forever (and I believe it is possible), but for me, it was hard to stay there once the struggles of everyday life began to creep back in. Also, there was most definitely a spiritual battle surrounding Kaylee's healing. Kaylee's healing was going to have to be fought for ....til the very end.
Clearly my experiences on January 18th had not been typical of a day of fasting. I would later come to understand more about the significance of this day. My friend (the one I had been on the phone with on January 17th) told me later that God had led her to read Psalms 18 that same weekend. When I looked this passage of scripture up, I was amazed at how perfectly these verses seemed to describe our special weekend as well! I also found it very interesting that the number 18 seemed to be of great significance to this healing. Over the next several months, I clung to the hope of Psalms 18!
A couple of days following this experience (when my faith was still at an all time high) I was driving in the car and listening to Dr. Charles Stanley on the radio. At one point in the sermon, I heard him say: "Do not let sin reign in your mortal body...." As I heard these words, I was suddenly overcome with a strong feeling that God had something to show me through these verses concerning what was taking place inside of Kaylee's body. Kaylee was sitting in the car next to me (still feeling sick and extremely weak) but I told her to grab a pen and to write down the scripture reference from which Dr. Stanley was preaching. It was Romans, chapter 6.
When I looked up this scripture, I was hoping to understand exactly what it was God was trying to show me, but I couldn't fully grasp it at the time. I only knew that it was somehow relevant. It wasn't until the following Friday, when I was fasting, that it suddenly became clear.
One thing that I have learned about fasting, through the years, is that it helps to bring clarity and understanding as it draws us closer to the presence of God. So on this particular Friday, I went to the park by myself, opened my Bible to Romans, chapter 6, and asked God to give me clear understanding. As I began to read, I noticed that this chapter (in this particular Bible) was entitled: Freedom from sin's grasp. While most people view this passage of scripture as pertaining only to sin in which we control, God began to show me something deeper on this day. I began to think about what was happening inside of Kaylee's mortal body, and how these diseases were directly connected to sin and unrighteousness. I began to wonder if "freedom from sin's grasp" didn't also apply to disease (a consequence of sin). Did the two not go together?
I remembered back to a testimony I once heard from a Baptist minister, Duane Miller, author of the book Out of the Silence. This minister had been miraculously healed of a debilitating vocal injury which had resulted from a common sickness. This vocal injury had left him unable to preach and had also required him to step down as the head pastor of his church. I always remembered that a strong part of his message on this day had been the connection between sin and disease that is mentioned all throughout the Bible. I could still see him holding up two fingers, side by side, as he told us, "The two go together."
This question then came to my mind: What is reigning inside of Kaylee's mortal body right now? I thought about it for a minute and the answer seemed rather obvious: disease was reigning inside her mortal body! I then began to focus on this scripture, and where I saw the word sin, I replaced it with disease:
"In the same way, count yourself dead to sin (disease) but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin (disease) reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer any part of yourself to sin (disease) as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourself to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to Him as instruments of righteousness. For sin (disease) shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace."
Although this was a deep and new concept for me, I suddenly began to grasp that when we (as Christians) accept disease, we are essentially allowing our cells, our organs, our systems, etc to be used as instruments of wickedness against us. In verse 6, it says: "For we know that our old self was crucified with Him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin, because anyone who has died has been set free from sin." I began to think of what Jesus did on the cross. If this meant that we are no longer under the law, but under grace, why then should we accept, or further more be slaves to, the consequences of sin (disease)? Did Jesus not die for both our sins and our diseases?
God began to help me to understand that it was essentially sin (darkness, unrighteousness, falsehood, depravity, etc) reigning and controlling the inner parts of Kaylee's body. It might not have been Kaylee's personal sin reigning, but it was sin (unrighteousness) none-the-less. He began to show me that this is the reason disease is not something to ever accept and that we could offer (through prayer) every part of our innermost being (every cell, tissue, organ, system) back to God as instruments of righteousness!
Paul goes on to say: "I am using an example from everyday life because of your human limitations. Just as you used to offer yourselves to impurity and ever increasing wickedness, now offer yourselves as slaves to righteousness leading to holiness. When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. What benefit did you reap at the time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 6)
So here's another question I asked myself: If we are no longer slaves to sin, should we not be under the control of righteousness, even in the deepest part of our mortal bodies?
A few days following this revelation, God also showed me something beautiful (and deep) through my sister-in-law, Kelly. In the Psalms 103, verse 1 it says: "Praise the Lord, O my soul, may all my inmost being, praise His holy name." When Kelly looked this verse up in the original Hebrew, she was shocked to find that inmost being is actually translated to inner organs!
Is it not a beautiful picture to imagine an atmosphere of praise within our bodies, where every part - every cell, tissue, organ, system - is bowing down in worship, coming under the reign and rule of the Holy Spirit (the light)? It is through the light that we can overcome the darkness of disease! If you think about it, why would we accept anything less for our temples than holiness and righteousness, even on the cellular level?
God had let me know on January 19th that He was at work in Kaylee's body in ways that I could not yet understand. He had given me the verse: "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us and eternal glory that far outweighs it all...." As was evident in my last blog, when the light is at work, sometimes things will get temporarily worse before they get better. God was now showing me how to keep this light at work inside of her through our prayers! The ultimate goal being for the light to eventually completely overcome the darkness of disease! (God would later show me more pertaining to this.)
We began this process by putting together a prayer based entirely on God's word that went like this:
I give all of myself to you, Father.
I have been brought from death to life.
I offer every part of my body to You
to do what is right!
I offer my cells, my intestines, my joints,
my immune system, and
ALL OF MY INNERMOST BEING
as instruments of righteousness.
For You created my inmost being.
You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Disease will not be my master.
Law does not rule me.
God's grace has set me free!
I am not a slave to disease.
I am a slave to God.
I have been set free
and ALL OF ME is a slave to righteousness.
I praise You that I have been given eternal life
because of what You did on the cross.
I praise You, O my soul.
May all of my inmost being (inner organs)
praise Your holy name.
I praise You, O my soul,
And I will forget not one of Your benefits.
You forgive all of my sins.
You heal all of my diseases.
You redeem my life from the pit,
And you crown me with love and compassion.
You satisfy my mouth with good things,
so that my years are renewed like the eagles.
Thank you for justice and righteousness.
Fill me with joy in Your presence.
For You are my God who heals me.
Amen
inspired from
(Romans 6, Psalms 103, Psalms 139)
.....Once we began saying this prayer, Kaylee's symptoms improved overnight (same thing happened when we began this same prayer with my son, Barret). Over the next several weeks, Kaylee's symptoms began to fade away, one by one.
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